2. Be Awake. Meditation is practice for
being awake, which is not being in the dream state (mind wandering into a train
of thought, getting lost in the online world, thinking about past offenses,
stressing about the future, etc.) but being awake to the present, to what is.
Being awake is something you can do throughout the day, all the time, if you
remember. Remembering is the trick.
3. Watch Urges. When I quit smoking in
2005, the most useful tool I learned was watching my urges to smoke. I would
sit there and watch the urge rise and fall, until it was gone, without acting
on it. It taught me that I am not my urges, that I don’t have to act on my
urges, and this helped me change all my other habits. Watch your urge to check
email or social media, to eat something sweet or fried, to drink alcohol, to
watch TV, to be distracted, to procrastinate. These urges will come and go, and
you don’t have to act on them.
4. Watch Ideals. We all have ideals, all
the time. We have an ideal that our day will go perfectly, that people will be
kind and respectful to us, that we will be perfect, that we’ll ace an exam or
important meeting, that we’ll never fail. Of course, we know from experience
that those ideals are not real, that they don’t come true, that they aren’t
realistic. But we still have them, and they cause our stress and fears and
grief over something/someone we’ve lost. By letting go of ideals, we can let go
of our suffering.
5. Accept People & Life As They Are.
When I stopped trying to change a loved one, and accepted him for who he was, I
was able to just be with him and enjoy my time with him. This acceptance has
the same effect for anything you do — accept a co-worker, a child, a spouse,
but also accept a “bad” situation, an unpleasant feeling, an annoying sound.
When we stop trying to fight the way things are, when we accept what is, we are
much more at peace.
6. Let Go of Expectations. This is really
the same thing as the previous two items, but I’ve found it useful nonetheless.
It’s useful to watch your expectations with an upcoming situation, with a new
project or business, and see that it’s not real and that it’s causing you
stress and disappointment. We cause our own pain, and we can relieve it by
letting go of the expectations that are causing it. Toss your expectations into
the ocean.
7. Become OK with Discomfort. The fear of
discomfort is huge — it causes people to be stuck in their old bad habits, to
not start the business they want to start, to be stuck in a job they don’t
really like, because we tend to stick to the known and comfortable rather than
try something unknown and uncomfortable. It’s why many people don’t eat
vegetables or exercise, why they eat junk, why they don’t start something new.
But we can be OK with discomfort, with practice. Start with things that are a
little uncomfortable, and keep expanding your comfort zone.
8. Watch Your Resistance. When you try to
do something uncomfortable, or try to give up something you like or are used
to, you’ll find resistance. But you can just watch the resistance, and be
curious about it. Watch your resistance to things that annoy you — a loud sound
that interrupts your concentration, for example. It’s not the sound that’s the
problem, it’s your resistance to the sound. The same is true of resistance to
food we don’t like, to being too cold or hot, to being hungry. The problem
isn’t the sensation of the food, cold, heat or hunger — it’s our resistance to
them. Watch the resistance, and feel it melt. This resistance, by the way, is
why I’m doing my Year of Living Without.
9. Be Curious. Too often we are stuck in
our ways, and think we know how things should be, how people are. Instead, be
curious. Find out. Experiment. Let go of what you think you know. When you
start a new project or venture, if you feel the fear of failure, instead of
thinking, “Oh no, I’m going to fail” or “Oh no, I don’t know how this will turn
out”, try thinking, “Let’s see. Let’s find out.” And then there isn’t the fear
of failure, but the joy of being curious and finding out. Learn to be OK with
not knowing.
10. Be Grateful. We complain about
everything. But life is a miracle. Find something to be grateful about in
everything you do. Be grateful when you’re doing a new habit, and you’ll stick
to it longer. Be grateful when you’re with someone, and you’ll be happier with
them. Life is amazing, if you learn to appreciate it.
11. Let Go of Control. We often think we
control things, but that’s only an illusion. Our obsession with organization
and goals and productivity, for example, are rooted in the illusion that we can
control life. But life is uncontrollable, and just when we think we have things
under control, something unexpected comes up to disrupt everything. And then
we’re frustrated because things didn’t go the way we wanted. Instead, practice
letting go of control, and learn to flow.
12. Be Compassionate. This sounds trite,
but compassion for others can change the way you feel about the world, on a
day-to-day basis. And compassion for yourself is life-changing. These two
things need remembering, though, so mindful living is about remembering to be
compassionate after you forget.
 | |
| Buddha on the hill / from your holy nose indeed / hangs an icicle ~ Issa (Ancient Japanese Haiku) |
The courses are divided into 4 distinct steps:
I. The first step is about “The
Conduct”. The aspirant should not engage in any of the following
activities; killing, theft, sexual activity, lies, and intoxication. The goal
is to calm and prepare the mind.
II. The second step is about keeping the “Focus On The Breath”, the activity that happens in the nostrils.
The goal is to master the mind by keeping the focus on the present moment.
III. The third step is about “Observing The Sensations In The Body And Not Reacting To Them”. The
goal is to understand the sensations in the body, develop equanimity, and
learning not to react to them, with the ‘experiential understanding’ of
impermanence
IV. Finally the fourth step is about “Emanating Love And Goodwill To All”. The goal is to develop Mangal Maitri - compassion, purity and love.
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About My Experiences:
Additional Sources:
http://zenhabits.net/toolset/
http://www.thesecretsofyoga.com/meditation/different-types-of-meditation.html
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